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Review: Jokerz™

Oh sweet, sweet Jokerz™- you are damn tasty but how I wish you weren’t so expensive. I’ll kick this off with a splurge of honesty, I’ve always had a soft spot for a Snickers but Jokerz™ are fantastic. Even people who hated a Snickers pre-veegs (Abra) love a Jokerz™. In fact, all things considered, I think a Jokerz™ bar is actually better and that’s no small feat. So hats off to Go Max Go Foods™ for developing this bar of glory – well played and all that. It’s time for the scores.

OVERALL: ★★★★☆

It’s so close to perfection, but there’s room for improvement in a few places which we’ll talk about later. First, let’s get a bit more technical and break it down into the major junk components.

Flavour:★★★★☆
Texture:★★★★★
Looks:★★★☆☆
Junk-factor:★★★★☆
Value:★☆☆☆☆

The Good Bits

Let’s start with the good bits – first off, this is probably the best vegan confectionery bar that either of us have tried*. It is pure junk. Let’s break this down so we can all understand why the Jokerz™ is so damn great.

  1. The bar has probably the best attempt at a milk-chocolate ganache we have tasted, it’s creamy-delicious
  2. The caramel has a deep golden flavour and just the right amount of chew
  3. The nougat is is soft and creamy
  4. The nuts are always crunchy NEVER soft 
  5. These bars have a huge junk factor – I just want to eat more of them.

The ratio of all the components it spot on, making the Jokerz™ bar a flavour and texture sensation that almost anyone can get on board with. It will leave the junk-o-phile craving more. But for the love of god, don’t eat another one (they’re 280 calories). If this was based on taste alone, the Jokerz™ bar would be a 5 all day long. Now onto the bad bits…

The Bad Bits

I think there are only three pitfalls to the Jokerz™ bar:

  1. It’s a teeny bit sweet – I imagine you’d feel a bit sick after your 3rd bar (don’t binge eat chocolate; you’ll get big and it’s not clever)
  2. The packaging and bar itself are U-G-L-Y – it’s got all the charm and appeal of a muscovy duck
  3. They’re much too expensive for our liking – you might pay up to £2.90 for one of these bad boys. That usually doesn’t stop us. But with everything else out there, it’s just not good value for money. Since when did a small chocolate bar cost that much?

Final Thoughts

To round this off, Jokerz™ are great. If you see one, buy one and eat it. But you might want to consider a tasty treat that’s a little kinder on the pocket. Then probably go for a run or something – I don’t know.

Nutritionally Vacant Statement

Warning! Junk food may be nutritionally vacant. Eat your greens. Reds, oranges and purples too. Oh, and do some exercise. All we know is that we’d rather have one chocolate bar a week and REALLY enjoy it, than munch on some dusty old cr*p masquerading as a “treat”. Live a little! Just not too much…

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